Quotes from Ronnie Barker

There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar's 'Sea Pictures' at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared.

I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, its the best job in the world.

Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.