Quotes from Kirk Read

If God had to go to such lengths to invite people to his birthday party, I reasoned, He probably wasn't serving very good cake.

Boys love hitting each other in the face. I guess it's the next best thing to a kiss.

Once you've traded Legos for masturbation, you're not really a boy anymore, are you?

I stared at older men I thought might be candidates and was thoroughly heartbroken every time the connection didn't occur the way I'd written it in my journal.

Thing is, I was having no luck. I couldn't even get molested in this town.

My friend Eileen once said about Tom 'I'd kick him out of bed - to fuck him on the floor.

I'd been to see our family doctor for chronic stomach pains several times that semester. I didn't have an ulcer yet, so he prescribed Tums, stress reduction, and no more Diet Coke. My mother remarked that when she was a child, there was no such thing as stress. Back then, she said, it was just called life. It's good that the doctor gave us multiple options, because stress and Diet Coke were not leaving my routine any time soon.

When I turned eighteen, she sent Walker a card that joked 'He's finally legal!' Walker was completely horrified, but Mom's sense of humor often depended on someone else's horror.

You walk down the street and people are just graveyards, really.