Quotes from Cathy Ladman

All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.

I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, Did you know it's time for your annual check-up? No, but now my mailman does.

My parents only had one argument in 45 years. It lasted 43 years.

Marriage is very difficult. Marriage is like a five-thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky.

Marriage is like a 5,000- piece jigsaw of the sky.

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000–piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky.

Kids are cute, babies are cute, puppies are cute. The little things are cute. See, nature did this on purpose so that we would want to take care of our young. Made them cute. Tricked us. Then gradually they get older and older, until one day your mother sits you down and says, "You know, I think you're ugly enough to get your own apartment."

My mother is a typical Jewish mother. They sent her home from jury duty, she insisted she was guilty.

My grandmother's ninety. She's dating. He's ninety-three. They're very happy; they never argue. They can't hear each other.

Makeup is such a weird concept. I'll wake up in the morning and look in the mirror: "Gee, I really don't look so good. Maybe if my eyelids were blue, I'd be more attractive."

I'm not on the pill, but I label my Tic Tacs with the days of the week. Makes me feel like I'm in a relationship.

All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.

I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, "Did you know it's time for your annual check-up?" No, but now my mailman does.

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.