Quotes from Ring Lardner

He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle.

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.

"Are you lost, daddy?" I arsked tenderly."Shut up," he explained.

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.

Shut up,' he explained.

How can you write if you can't cry?

They gave each other a smile with a future in it.

Mr. Fitzgerald is a novelist and Mrs. Fitzgerald is a novelty

Are you lost, Daddy?" I asked tenderly. "Shut up," he explained.

Some like them hot,some like them cold. Some like them when they're not to darn old Some like them fat,some like them lean. Some like them only at sweet sixteen. Some like them dark,some like them light. Some like them in the park,late at night. Some like them fickle,some like them true, But the time I like them is when they're like you

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.

Although he is a very poor fielder, he is a very poor hitter.

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong - but that's the way to bet.

I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.

For inst. when the telephone rings now days I am scared to death that its somebody asking us to go somewheres for dinner or somewheres. Six yrs. ago I was afraid it wasn't. At 29 home was like they say on the vaudeville stage, a place to go when all the other joints was closed up. At 35 its a place you never leave without a loud squawk.

Then we quit jokeing and he says You have improved a hole lot

Some of ours is so crooked they can't lay in a birth only when the trains making a curve.

The love interest and climax would come when a man and a lady, both strangers, got to talking together on the train going back east. "Well," said Mrs. Croot, for it was she, "what did you think of the Canyon?" "Some cave," replied her escort. "What a funny way to put it!" replied Mrs. Croot. "And now play me something.

I was pretty sick for a couple of weeks--too sick for the Mrs. to give me the news. And it's a wonder I didn't

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.

Walter Mayer was a hero at a Salvation Army home fire in Cincinnati.

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.

No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done with out it.