Quotes from Julianne MacLean

Standing there with him now felt like I was experiencing another death. Somehow, I had to find a way to say good-bye to him and to all of this—to bury our history deep in the ground. I reminded myself that it was impossible to go back. We weren't the same people we once were,

Now, my fate would lie in God's hands. I prayed he would be merciful.

set the iPod in the dock and gently shift my newborn baby boy in my arms so that his cheek rests on my shoulder. When the music starts to play, I dance slowly around the living room, rocking him to and fro. I feel such joy, I begin to wonder if I've died and gone to heaven.

contemplated suicide. Part of the reason was because I didn't want to go on living without my sweet baby boy. I missed him terribly and my guilt was beyond excruciating. It was the worst kind of torture imaginable. I just wanted to end my suffering.

When you want to accomplish something, you attack it, hard. So attack this. You just need to face your fear and feel like you're in control.

arrive?" He immediately shrugged

What is hope, exactly? Is it the longing for something, such as the fulfilment of a dream? Or is it a sense of optimism within you, a sense of trust, an unwavering belief that everything is going to be okay?

I know it's a cliché," he said, "but life is short and death comes to us all. So what's the point of living, if we're not going to experience real joy? At least some of the time," he added. "I'm not saying we shouldn't grieve or ever be unhappy—that's part of living, too. But we can't forget the other side of it when times are bleak." "What other side?" I asked. "The beautiful side.

All I know is that I didn't want to risk sending myself into a fiery pit of despair for the rest of eternity because I wasn't strong enough to stick it out, to keep on living until my time came.

Proof of Heaven.

We learn the lessons we are meant to learn when the moment is right.

I became conscious of the fact that I would never experience that blissful optimism again. I would not be courageous enough to have another child. I wasn't even sure I would ever be brave enough to love someone

day. It was a painful drive back to Montepulciano

I wanted to say something, but what? There were no words to describe what I felt or what I wanted. All I knew was that I was overcome by a desire so profound, no amount of self-discipline or control was powerful enough to stop it.

you're going to tell me to stop crying and get over it.

Maybe that was why I was so attracted to him. Because he was unattainable.

she had simply been afraid to leap into the unknown.

also know that I can't protect him from pain. Pain is part of life, and we have to deal with it when it comes.

I think of my son. I remember him as a baby in my arms—the sweet smell of his soft head beneath my lips when I kissed him good night before setting him down in his crib.

But sometimes, a flicker of light can emerge from the darkest, most unexpected tragedies.

In fact, you probably consider yourself lucky to have gotten away with those bad decisions, but you're thankful you learned something in the process.

I am just a man—a man who was saved by love.

I hated her for leaving us. I hated her. I hated her most for leaving me with Dad.

that. "I know the feeling. I think it's part of being a parent. Sometimes you just want to go hide under a rock somewhere, but you have to stay strong for your kids, to keep their world upright.