Quotes from Roger Fisher

Break the vicious cycle by refusing to react. Instead of pushing back, sidestep their attack and deflect it against the problem. As in the Oriental martial arts of judo and jujitsu, avoid pitting your strength against theirs directly; instead, use your skill to step aside and turn their strength to your ends. Rather than resisting their force, channel it into exploring interests, inventing options for mutual gain, and searching for independent standards.

The soft negotiating game emphasizes the importance of building and maintaining a relationship.

In contrast to positional bargaining, the principled negotiation method of focusing on basic interests, mutually satisfying options, and fair standards typically results in a wise agreement. The method permits you to reach a gradual consensus on a joint decision efficiently.

Even apart from a shared interest in averting joint loss, there almost always exists the possibility of joint gain. This may take the form of developing a mutually advantageous relationship, or of satisfying the interests of each side with a creative solution.

Having a bottom line makes it easier to resist pressure and temptations of the moment.

Rather than resisting the other side's criticism, invite it.

People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that those who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. So if you want the other side to appreciate your interests, begin by demonstrating that you appreciate theirs.

Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria: It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient. And it should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties.

The ability to see the situation as the other side sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of the most important skills a negotiator can possess.

If you want someone to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later.

The more extreme the opening positions and the smaller the concessions, the more time and effort it will take to discover whether or not agreement is possible.

An open mind is not an empty one.

Some of the key elements of an effective apology include: recognition of the emotional impact of the action on others, an expression of regret, and a commitment not to repeat the negative action. Saying, "I'm sorry that you feel hurt," is not nearly as powerful as saying, "I'm sorry for my poor behavior and for the hurt it has caused you.

the more attention that is paid to positions, the less attention is devoted to meeting the underlying concerns of the parties.

The challenge is not to eliminate conflict but to transform it. It is to change the way we deal with our differences

Judgment hinders imagination.

the best time for handling people problems is before they become people problems.

Whether a negotiation concerns a contract, a family quarrel, or a peace settlement among nations, people routinely engage in positional bargaining. Each side takes a position, argues for it, and makes concessions to reach a compromise.

THE METHOD 2. Separate the People from the Problem 3. Focus on Interests, Not Positions 4. Invent Options for Mutual Gain 5. Insist on Using Objective Criteria

The game of negotiation takes place at two levels. At one level, negotiation addresses the substance; at another, it focuses—usually implicitly—on the procedure for dealing with the substance.

No matter how many people are involved in a negotiation, important decisions are typically made when no more than two people are in the room.

For more interesting examples from the Law of the Sea negotiations, see James K. Sebenius, Negotiating the Law of the Sea: Lessons in the Art and Science of Reaching Agreement (Harvard University Press, 1984).

BATNA—your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement?

Increase your negotiation power is by improving your walk-away alternative. An attractive BATNA is a strong argument with which to persuade the other side of the need to offer more.