Quotes from Lee Goldberg

Happiness is an illusion, Natalie. It doesn't actually exist. Of course it does, I said. It's what you feel when you're not sad. That's unconsciousness. And I'm pretty sure that I'm miserable when I am unconscious, too.

I had to wonder, though, if there's something about a murderer, particularly a confident one, that gives him a certain charisma or charm that I, in particular, am susceptible to. I mean, there's a reason more women are attracted to Dracula than repelled by him. I made a resolution to myself. From now on, I'd assume that every man I was attracted to was a murderer until proven otherwise. Perhaps it wasn't the most promising strategy for starting a relationship, but I might live longer.

Of course, that rationalization didn't work at all. It would have helped if I'd had some Oreo cookie ice cream to eat at the same time. I've learned that self-delusion is much easier when there's something sweet in your mouth.

Numbers are a lot like people. They each have a story. They interact with one another. They entertain. They inform. They deceive. They can create happiness or inflict enormous pain. You have to know how to get them to talk.

Standing up for what you believe in comes has a price but backing down exacts a toll that your soul never stops paying

It's a tough job being somebody's personal assistant. You have to anwser their phone, manage their correspondence, run their errands, pay their bills, arrange their schedule, and basically do whatever tasks, menial to major, they are too busy or self absorbed or distracted or pampered or disinterested to do themselves.

Guilt and fear are a kind of rot. It spreads unless it's cleaned. And there's only one way to do that.

So there you have it: Nature is a rotten mess. But that's only the beginning. If you take your eyes off it for one second, it will kill you. Thorns, insects, fungus, worms, birds, reptiles, wild animals, raging rivers, bottomless ravines, dry deserts, snow, quicksand, tumbleweeds, sap, and mud. Rot, poison and death. That's Nature. It's a wonder you even step outside of your cabin, I said. My bravery exceeds my good sense, he said.

The state of California itself was now just like me - a free-spirited liberal with a mostly sunny disposition teetering on the edge of financial ruin. (Natalie Teeger)

When a bird crapped on my window, he called 911.

They were all puppets, animated by the properties, responsibilities, and relationships they were tied to

When I arrived, he was in the kitchen, in the middle of his Sunday morning ritual of cleaning his cleaning supplies.

He felt like Rambo even though he was built like Dumbo

You're owed a refund on your manhood.

It takes a lot of energy just to deal with life when you are neurotic and obsessive-compulsive.

Perception is reality, so it's up to us to create the perception

They could be mistaken for a father and daughter who liked to carry Glocks.

After that experience, I immediately enrolled Julie in tae kwon do class, despite her protests. I wanted to be sure that if she were ever attacked, her instincts would take over, and that her instincts would kick ass.

Figuring out the solutions to puzzling mysteries seems to come so fast and so naturally for him, we just shake our heads in wonder and chalk it up as miraculous. We don't stop to consider the mental and emotional resources he has to marshal to pull that "miracle" off.

Julie nearly fainted when I showed up at home that night with the new Lexus. The first thing she wanted to do was drive it. I let her drive all over San Francisco with the windows rolled up, because we didn't want to lose one precious whiff of that new-car smell.

It also made the government secretly eager to go far beyond that, at least until Edward Snowden ruined things.

Three men dead, two people injured, and a civilian traumatized by having to kill a man. The department is probably facing tens of millions of dollars in lawsuit settlements. Tell me why I shouldn't walk out of here with somebody's badge in my pocket for this?

Even when the couple disabled "location history" or "location services" in an app, their wishes were ignored. The couple was more closely monitored than a paroled child molester with a tamperproof GPS tracker around his ankle.

Which is why turning myself into a sex object now would be taking a big step backwards for me and all women in the department.