Quotes from Doug Coupland

Christmas makes everything twice as sad.

Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.

Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries.

It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.

Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships.

Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you.

If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window.

Technology favors horrible people.

I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?

People will always choose more money over more sex.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member.

We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements.

Failure is authentic, and because it's authentic, it's real and genuine, and because of that, it's a pure state of being.

A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.

Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.

If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it.

There's much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because numbness encourages laziness, you do fewer things, good or bad, and the world's probably a better place for it.

Sometimes it just feels really really wonderful to be alive.