Quotes from Jennifer Baumgardner

The term bisexual has ended up as the ugly stepchild of sexuality, in both name and meaning. Its fate is symptomatic of the bisexual's own lot in life: to be as common as can be, but unacknowledged.

What I'm asserting is that we are looking at bisexuality the wrong way, making the identity entirely dependent on someone other that the bisexual person him- or herself. If I'm dating a man, I'm straight. If I'm dating a woman, I'm a lesbian. But sexuality is not who you sleep with, it's who you are. It doesn't change according to who is standing next to you.

The term bisexual has ended up as the ugly stepchild of sexuality, in both name and meaning. Its fate is symptomatic of the bisexual's own lot in life: to be as common as can be, but unacknowledged.

As we said, consciousness is everything. Even now, acknowledging inequality begs one to do something about it--and that is a daunting, albeit righteous, responsibility.

As it turned out, my perception was so much more intimidating than the reality.

Hey ladies - I got hands. They are exquisite and highly trained from years of fingering and fisting. My hands can kick your new boyfriend's hands' ass. All I'm saying is go for something a lesbian can't give you, like testicles or musk or unwanted pregnancy. Don't be bragging about how your man cries or listens to you. You can get that with us.

In the 70's, there was a profound fear of being gay, to be sure, but with the burgeoning understanding of sexism and misogyny, it became harder to understand why one would want to sleep with the enemy, either. For some, lesbian love was a pragmatic route to fairness. (The sex and foot massages were just a bonus.)

If it's comfortable it's not feminist - unless of course we're talking about shoes.

She's that bad boy you want, but in a girl who believes in recycling. Freud described the kinds of feelings I had for Amy as loving the same person twice, as a woman and as a man.

If you wait until you are perfect and free of conflicts, you will never change anything in the world.

Bethany Martin, another Hope College senior, put it like this: If i could have equality and fulfillment with a woman, but I couldn't with a man - then why wouldn't I choose a woman?

Trust was the sexual clincher for Dolores Alexander, the once-married early NOW member from chapter 3. Once I had had sex with a woman, says Alexander it was mind-blowing, it was so much better than with men. [My sexuality] just never became a question, I just stayed there. The issue was trust. I felt I could trust women so much more than I could ever trust a man. You are dealing on a truly peer level with women and you are not with men - or at least I wasn't.

To understand women who look both ways requires hearing their stories, not just noting the sex of their current partner. And when you listen closely, it's apparent these women have learned something crucial in these relationships.

Researchers have discovered that stereotype threat, that is, the mere presence of a preferred group (white or male) diminishes the performance of an under preferred group.

At the end of the day, feminism is not about what choice you make, it's about having the ability to make a choice.

Grizzled white men poured drinks and dispensed dubious wisdom. Young white women in tight clothes delivered the food and the smiles and said sorry all the time. Short brown men cooked it all and cleaned it all up, and still managed to rise above the racial oppression of the United states to make kissing sounds at us waitresses whenever we were in the kitchen.

It's the rare man (even among supposed metrosexuals) who can so satisfyingly acknowledge the details of your outfit the way a woman can.

In spite of this love, sex, and equality with Steven, I didn't want to let go of Amy. More than that, I sensed that the good stuff I has now having with Steven had something to do with what she had brought out in me. Or more, to the point, my confidence and self-knowledge about what I wanted had something to do with having a woman in my romantic sphere. it wasn't long before I broke up with Steven and fell in love with Amy.