Quotes from Jim Samuels

I have one of those real old American-built cars. The kind that just punches through accidents.

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

Remember folks. Street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Remember folks stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life