Quotes from Jinx Schwartz

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.—Noel Coward

Hell, Frijòle, it ain't against the law to drink whiskey in Texas. Yet. If it was, we could just build a fence around the whole territory and call it a jail,

A joke by fellow Texan and humorist Jack Handey sprang to mind: When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did—in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

I have a lifelong habit for dealing with dejection: I leave town. I first ran away from home at three. Mother helped pack my bag.

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.

Get serious. It just ain't all that easy to off someone and get away with it." "We're talking Mexico here, for crying out loud. You know, the country where over sixty thousand people have been murdered by the cartels, and not one person prosecuted? Jeez, it's worse than Chicago." "That's because the prosecutors and judges prefer to live? But we don't have buckets of money like the druggers do. We only have our brains." "Damn.

Her dread of fire was almost as strong as her fear of deep water. She wasn't so much afraid of dying as she was of pain. If they had to die, she just hoped it wouldn't hurt too much. Or for too long.

As Christopher Reeve once said, so many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.

Hetta, we are women. Being stupid about men is our job. If we weren't stupid, we wouldn't have anything to do with them.

Ingrid Bergman said, 'Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

I wouldn't make any

We made too many wrong mistakes.—Yogi Berra

Texas women have an amazing sense of purpose when they lose it. They're the best girls in the world—they're loyal and fun, but when they get mad, they'll try to kill you.—John Cusack Don't Mess With Texas—Hetta Coffey

I've traveled far and wide, always alone, so therefore I've never been in Cahoots.

Every word, every gesture must be analyzed, ad nauseam, in search of hidden rejection. Surges of noxious anxiety emanate from what I call brain farts and travel like sewer gas to my stomach.

A man with keen preservation

You know you're not in your twenties anymore when you flee the action instead of wanting to be in the middle of it.

And as old Thomas Jefferson said, 'Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.' I hate to plow.

I have a feeling you need a good, old fashioned, whine and jeeze party. Now, tell me everything.

For months, Gómez Pérez Comacho and his family survived aboard the hobbyhorsing, rat-infested vessel dubbed a "flying pig" because of her rotund shape. Comacho thought of her as a fat pig. With her round belly engorged with over two tons of cargo, and a forty-foot draft, the galleon was a nightmare to navigate.

Nao de la China, these ships were called, because even though they sailed from Manila, most of their cargo originated in China. They left in a fleet of three for this treacherous nine-thousand mile voyage, now they were but one. What happened to the others the crew on San Carlos would never know.

coffee strong enough to grow hair on a frog,

so I ate a salad, no wine, popped those two aspirins prescribed by Jan, and slept like a baby, except I didn't toss and turn, pee in my pants, or cry every two hours.

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.—Buddha