Quotes from Ron Koertge

Avoid any enclosed space where more than three people are wearing turtlenecks.

His mama is so stupid she thinks Meow Mix is a dance album for cats.

Our enemy is man with his arrogance and greed. The woodsman in particular. Destroyer of trees. Clearer of land. Owner of fire. While he chops and burns and builds, we terrorize his wife, surrounding her as she goes for water. We howl outside his windows half the night, and if that doesn't drive him away we take him out, leaving just a few bones so the message is clear. This is our forest. Perfect before you came. Perfect again when all your kind is dead.