Quotes from John Elder Robison

Last summer, when he thought I wasn't looking, I observed Cubby telling one of the neighborhood six-year-olds that there were dragons living in the storm drains, under our street. 'We feed them meat...and then they don't get hungry and blow fire and roast us.' Little James listened closely, with a very serious expression on his face. Then he ran home to get some hot dogs from his mother.

Saying you "have" something implies that it's temporary and undesirable. Asperger's isn't like that. You've been Aspergian as long as you can remember, and you'll be that way all your life. It's a way of being, not a disease.

Because speaking while watching things has always been difficult for me, learning to drive a car and talk at the same time was a tough one, but I mastered it.

Nice people like them by children like him and raise them as pets. But he didn't want to be a pet today.

a crying grown-up with no visible damage, who knew what that meant?

As a logical thinker, I cannot help thinking, based on the evidence, that many people who exhibit dramatic reactions to bad news involving strangers are hypocrites. That troubles me. People like that hear bad news from across the world, and they burst into wails and tears as though their own children have just been run over by a bus. To me, they don't seem very different from actors and actresses—they are able to burst into tears on command, but does it really mean anything?

There are plenty of people in the world whose lives are governed by rote and routine. Such people will never be happy dealing with me, because I don't conform. Luckily, the world is also full of people who care about results, and those people are usually very happy with me, because my Asperger's compels me to be the ultimate expert in whatever field of interest I choose. And with substantial knowledge, I can obtain good results.

Always keep this point in mind: the word "delay" means what it says: late. Delayed isn't never, no matter how much it may feel like that at age fifteen or even twenty-five.

am always calmer and more relaxed in a pile, being petted. Nowadays, for the first time, I fall asleep quickly and I seldom have bad dreams. If I wake up, she puts a paw on me and I go back to sleep. I put a paw on her,

When today's brain scientists talk Asperger's, there's no mention of damage—just difference. Neurologists have not identified anything that's missing or ruined in the Asperger brain. That's a very important fact. We are not like the unfortunate people who've lost millions of neurons through strokes, drinking, lead poisoning, or accidental injury. Our brains are complete; it's just the interconnections that are different.

Bill Gates is said to be Aspergian. Musician Glenn Gould is said to have been Aspergian, along with scientist Albert Einstein, actor Dan Aykroyd, writer Isaac Asimov, and movie director Alfred Hitchcock. As adults, none of those people would be described as disabled, but they were certainly eccentric and different.

I was nice on the inside, but new acquaintances sometimes never stayed around long enough to notice,

The only time making a fist around the fork helps is when you want to stab someone because he's stealing your food. Now I know stabbing people is really rude, so I hold my fork in the grown-up way all the time, and I rely on discreet snarls to protect my dinner from predators.)

When I speak in casual conversation, I try to start a mental clock in my head. I actually learned this from Marty Nemko, a San Francisco career coach. He told me, "For the first thirty seconds after you start talking, imagine a green light in your head. After thirty seconds the light turns yellow. At sixty seconds, it's red." That's a good piece of advice for most any conversational situation. It takes some mental energy to monitor myself, but it works.

In high school, I could recognize extremes of emotion. I knew enough to run if a guy came yelling and screaming at me with a baseball bat. But a girl with a subtle expression on her face … was she smiling at me? Laughing? Quizzical and curious? I had no idea. That led to a lot of awkward interactions and years of loneliness.

I can't look at a stranger's face and think, She's smiling just like Amy. When Amy smiles like that she's happy, so this person is probably happy, too. Instead, I watch and evaluate, with a slightly anxious feeling. It's as if I have to build a behavior database for every single person I meet in life. When I encounter someone for the first time, the slate is blank and I don't know what to expect.

Unlike some older brothers, I never set him on fire, or cut off an arm or a leg, or drowned him in the tub.

So is there a cure?' I asked. 'It's not a disease,' he explained. 'It doesn't need curing. It's just how you are

When I act politely, I build a reserve of goodwill in others. That reserve allows those people to cut me some slack when I do something annoying.

Girls are the trickiest and most unpredictable creatures a fellow like me will ever talk to.

Find Your Strengths and Interests

But were we so different, my pug and I?

Here's a good rule of thumb: Your own rituals are okay as long as they don't interfere with your responsibilities in daily life, or make you the subject of teasing or ridicule. Rituals become a problem whenever they prevent you from doing the stuff you're supposed to do, or when they get you in trouble.

Competence excuses strange behavior.