Quotes from Joe Keenan

There are, however, people in this world who seldom pick up a newspaper, people who, when watching television, sneer in displeasure and change channels at the first glimpse of an anchorperson. While such willfully uninformed citizens are rare, emerging from seclusion only to serve on juries in trials of great national significance, they do exist.

Gilbert, as a rule, used money the way women use pepper spray; he liked having some handy but only produced it when physically threatened.

Though I could agree with him that Miss Gamache had a good heart, I couldn't read her book without wanting to plunge an ice pick into it while screaming, 'That's for chapter four!

By the time Gilbert and I reached home we felt like two hydrants in unfortunate proximity to a kennel.

Sorry! Can't!' said Gilbert. 'Massage,' he explained, then exited the bar, apparently via catapult. 'Philip?' Claire said. My first impulse was to follow Gilbert's lead by briskly dismounting the couch and diving through the Gilbert-shaped hole he'd left in the wall on departing.

Gilbert... sat at the foot of the bed and wore the dazed, beleaguered look of a suspect hauled in for questioning on a day when the good cop has phoned in sick.

Sorry I disagree,' she said while initialing some papers, having already acquired the mogul's knack of compounding an insult by multitasking while delivering it.

They did not arrive alone but were attended by six cohorts, an assortment of dark-suited men so stern and judgmental of mien as to resemble the male ensemble from a musical version of The Crucible.

Gilbert, never restrained in victory, leaped to his feet with an exuberance Roberto Benigni might have found unseemly. "Thank

Part of me knew it was no great honor to have one's dialogue praised by a man whose films teemed with lines like "That meteor picked the wrong dude to mess with!" and "Uncle Sam, one. Allah...zip!"But

For him to claim now that he'd dashed off a spec script brilliant enough to win him a fat Hollywood contract did not merely strain Credulity; it beat the crap out of Credulity and sent Credulity's next of kin scurrying to its bedside.