Quotes from Jenni Schaefer

Replace perfectionism with persistence. After all, in recovery and life, it's persistence that really pays off. Forget about perfection.

Being thin created intense anxiety that I wouldn't be able to maintain that weight for life, and I couldn't.

I went from really hating my body, to disliking it, to accepting it but not exactly liking it, then accepting it and liking it, and now I love it.

Real hope combined with real action has always pulled me through difficult times. Real hope combined with doing nothing has never pulled me through.

I would not encourage you to go through the sweat, blood, and tears of the recovery process only to reach some kind of mediocre state where you were just 'managing' the illness. It is possible to live without Ed.

To stay in recovery, you must be responsible for finding your own motivation. Remember, motivation may not be easy to come by at first. It will probably be a very small, timid part inside of you. When you find it, let that part be in charge. Let the minority rule and lead you to a life you never dreamed was possible

Oftentimes, especially during my recovery, I didn't need to think about everything I was doing wrong; instead, I needed to focus more on what I was doing right—and then do more of the right stuff. I needed to live more in the solution.

When you feel like you would rather die than live another day with an eating disorder, know that I used to feel that way too. Search deep inside yourself for the part that wants to live

Sometimes I felt lonely because I pushed people away for so long that I honestly didn't have many close connections left. I was physically isolated and disconnected from the world. Sometimes I felt lonely in a crowded room. This kind of loneliness pierced my soul and ached to the core. I not only felt disconnected from the world, but I also felt like no one ever loved me. Intellectually, I knew that people did, but I still felt that way.

Holding myself to perfectionistic standards, I used to think I had to become lifelong friends with everyone who entered my life. This was exhausting, and I now know it's not true. I believe the old saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." (127)

Clinicians have told me that our emotional is arrested at the age that an eating disorder takes control of our lives. After we recover, we pick up emotionally where we left off at that age.

Connect with supportive people who empower you. The more you jump into your life, the further away from Ed you can get. Don't have a backup plan for living. Live today. […] Trust in God. Believe in yourself. Get friends and family members to stand behind you. That's the only backup you'll need.

Being thin created intense anxiety that I wouldn't be able to maintain that weight for life, and I couldn't.

I wrote in my journal about how good I felt when I was not living under Ed's control. Then, when I really felt like giving up, I read these pages and realized that I was striving for in recovery was a real possibility. I thought about these experiences and used them as encouragement to keep moving forward. Even one minute of freedom was proof that I was getting better. At first, these times were few and far between. Now, these moments are connected; they are my life

In the past, I was a perpetual victim; how I was doing in any given moment depended on what happened to me. Today I do my best to avoid this kind of 'victim thinking.' Instead, how I am doing is determined by how I respond to what happens to me.

Intense pain often pushed me to make changes. The pain of the eating disorder pushed me into recovering from eating-disordered behaviors, and then the emotional turmoil I experienced without those behaviors (not knowing how to cope with perfectionism, feelings, and life in general) took me even further, so that I ultimately found serenity.

Ironically, this physically weak feeling signifies that I'm actually getting stronger. I know from my past that I will ultimately feel strong if I just sit with the feeling and experience it.

With Ed, I always pushed away the good and only heard the bad. Today, I let in the good.

I left myself out of humanity by focusing on differences. This isolation only strengthened Ed" (17)

I ate a specific amount of food at certain times every day. This meant filling out a little form listing what I ate and taking it to my weekly dietary appointment.