Quotes from Sally Helgesen

women are most likely to be evaluated based on their contributions, while men are most likely to be evaluated based on their potential—nebulous criteria that can result in a less qualified

In other words, your habits are not you. They are you on autopilot.

And in fact, psychologists draw a straight line of causation between chronic rumination and chronic depression. Dwelling on the negative and berating yourself is bad for your health, physical and mental. And the longer your mind is consumed with gloomy self-accusations, the worse you will feel.

So if you identify as a ruminant, please write a new script for yourself. And repeat firmly after us: rumination is for cows!

The point is, you had no way of knowing. But you decided it had to be about you.

Passing judgment means feeling the need to impose your standards on others, as if their job were to live up to your expectations.

I tell them, say what you're doing, say what you've accomplished, and say what motivates you. If you want to make partner, you need to say so, over and over. If you don't, the top dogs won't view you as committed. Just working hard won't get you where you want to go.

He mentioned his present job, said his goal was to lead a telecom investment team in south Asia, and noted ties between his country of origin and the region he hoped to work in as well as two key relationships that would be useful. The little speech took less than a minute but was packed with information. He'd clearly given thought to every word and thoroughly rehearsed it.

But try to avoid being too hard on yourself or identifying too many items you need to get to work on,

This reluctance to view money, position, and winning as chief arbiters of success is psychologically healthy for women and great for their teams and organizations. But it can have a dark side, leading women to underinvest in their own success even as they devote time to building up others. This instinct for self-sacrifice also lies at the bottom of a number of behaviors that hold women back.

This matters because top leadership roles tend to be more about potential for the next level of responsibility than management of the current level of responsibility,

The point is that both people involved understand they are using one another to improve their access to resources, broaden their professional connections, and create mutually beneficial opportunities.

women often find their decisions and setbacks scrutinised through the role model lens. This can become a source of shame and guilt, whilst also setting women against eachother.The burden is particularly intense for minority women, who are often expected to carry the aspirations of not only other women, but their entire ethnicor racial group on their shoulders. - doesn't do women any favours.

Trying to change a behavior that gets in your way rarely succeeds unless you understand the beliefs that inform it. Beliefs create the framework that shapes your actions. They provide rationales for how you behave and offer logical reasons for why you actually don't need to change.

work is elevated by our daily environment into something that is appropriately done everywhere and at every conceivable moment.