Quotes from Frank Muir

Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.

Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.

Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops.

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humour is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.

Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!

It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.

With fronds like these, who needs anemones?

The glances over cocktails That seem to be so sweet Don't seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat