Quotes from Homer Simpson

Trying is the first step towards failure

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems.

It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

To alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

Trying is the first step to failure

Mmmmmmm. donuts/beer/erotic cakes.

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems

Operator, give me the number for 911!