Quotes from Marc Acito

There are moments in your life when you see yourself through someone else's eyes, when your only hope of believing you're capable of doing something is because someone else believes it for you.

There are moments in your life when you see yourself through someone else's eyes, when your only hope of believing you're capable of doing something is because someone else believes it for you.

I'm a sucker for a guy with a big organ.

Hard work may pay off in the long run, but the benefits of laziness are immediate.

I shouldn't be surprised. Catholicism is the ultimate loophole religion (sin, confess, repeat), so it makes sense that a priest would know better than anyone how to work the angles. Still, when you go to confession and say, Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, you don't expect him to say, So, who hasn't?

But that doesn't stop me from moving about him like a junior high girl lingering by the lifeguard station

Father Angelo makes me uncomfortable. For starters, he's way too good-looking for a priest, his dark bedroom eyes and athletic build arousing exactly the kind of impure thoughts you're supposed to go to church to get rid of.

Only the uninformed masses rave about how great you are; people who actually know what they're talking about say things like You're good or I liked your work.

The people here are such snobs. She doesn't seem concerned that those snobs can hear her. But I honestly don't understand what they've got to be so snobby about. Don't they realize they live in New Jersey?

She's wearing character shoes for dancing and the combination of high heels with tight terry-cloth shorts makes her look like a teen prostitute in a TV movie of the week. It's a good look.

The house is about as tidy as most people's attics, which makes it a particularly hospitable hangout for sloppy teenagers.

Una casa limpia es señal de una vida desperdiciada.

The sky is turning from black to gray and I stop to remember this melancholy moment for my acting. I huddle on a bench in my big thrift-store overcoat and my painful hair, watching my breath make clouds and thinking Holden Caulfield-y thoughts, like how come you never see any baby pigeons? This is what those people on black-and-white French postcards must feel like. I find myself craving a cup of coffee and a cigarette despite the fact that I neither drink coffee nor smoke.

Now I realize that sliding underneath a table in a restaurant is somewhat of an I Love Lucy response to a crisis, but once I'm down on the floor I can't very well reappear without giving some thought as to how I'm going to accomplish it.

They are, essentially, a happy family, in their scream-at-each-other-from-the-other-end-of-the-house kind of way and I've always felt at home around them. Jews are a lot like Italians, except smarter.

Excluding vacations, that's 144 gym classes a year, which comes to a lifetime total of 1,584; multiply that by forty minutes a class and it comes to 1,056 hours of nonstop harassment, or forty-four days of round-the-clock terror. POWs have died for less.

Pork chop, pork chop, Greazy, greazy, We'ze gonna beat you, Easy, easy. Corn bread, Jeri Curl, Bar-bee-cue, We'ze gonna beat the whoopy outta you!

This summer is my big chance to improve myself and I'm determined to give up sugar, caffeine, alcohol, read meat, white flour and fried foods, as well as finally learn to meditate and become the spiritually evolved person I know that I truly am inside.

If you want to be a garbage man, be a garbage man, but be the best garbage man you can be. (p. 8)

Pairs of shoes should be like pairs of people,' Paula says. 'They should complement one another, not match.

You've got strengths you're not even aware of yet and you are going to be amazed at what you can do when this is all over. I believe in you; not just in your talent, but in you yourself. There is so much more to you than you even realize, I promise.

Holy Lesbos, Batman!

I will not play a minor role in my own life (p. 271)

Algunas mañanas me despertaba y el dolor era tan enorme que quería terminar con todo, pero entonces pensaba: «No, Ted, hoy no te puedes suicidar. Estás a mitad de un libro estupendo».