Quotes from Russell Edward Brand

I don't like doing anything that makes you sweat if you don't come at the end of it.

Some people, I think they're called racists, say America is not ready for a black president. But, I know America to be a forward-thinking country, right, because otherwise, you know, would you have let that retarded cowboy fella be president for eight years? We were very impressed. We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors.

There's no shame in being second to Stephen Fry. Unless it's in a straight nose competition.

I love the BBC, it's a gorgeous organisation and it's just 'cos it's got vaguely socialist state-run tendencies that people like bloody old Rupert Murdoch coat it off in the Sun, and it's gotta stop!

I believe Finland's economy is based on Moomin juice.

That's what keeps me alive, perversion and star quality.

I'm genuinely and actually a bit like Jesus.

That diamond encrusted goat's skull is the height of good taste!

I'll riverdance while that's happening, 'cause it seems to be what I naturally do anyway.

I'm waiting for something worth waiting for.

If you're going to use 'theatrical' and 'bent' in such close proximity, you're going to give people the wrong impression.

So by being offended you've sorta acknowledged that you are thick, and none of us are, so we're all back on speaking terms!

It's like Kilroy only talking about Big Brother and there's no racism allowed.

Well, stick around love, cos I've got worse. The worst being, simply, "Get in the van."

I like pressing that emergency button on bus doors to escape.