Quotes from John Godey

You realize how many times you have to wet your thumb when you're counting out a million?" "You're shitting me. They must have a machine or something." "Right. A machine that wets their thumbs.

My opinion is it's a scandal." "What are you referring to specifically?" "Everything." "Can you be more specific?" "What's more specific than everything?

Being dead is an improvement on a lot of things I can think of. Trying to sell mutual funds, for example.

He had led a sheltered childhood and never learned to swear convincingly. He had long ago learned that swearing, like foreign languages, is best learned at an early age, but because he regarded it as a social grace he never gave up trying to master it.