Quotes from attributed

The paths of glory lead but to the grave--also the paths of ignominy, profligacy and skullduggery.

The British Board of Censors will not pass any seduction scene unless the seducer has one foot on the floor. Apparently sex in England is something like snooker.

In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

She used to be a schoolteacher, but she has no class now.

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

A psychiatrist is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirin.