Quotes from Gene Doucette

Most every old civilizations looks at others--members of the same species but not of the same tribe--as wild men. It's a common rationalization, because when you reduce someone else to a level of something like an animal, it makes them easier to kill.

Yes, I had disabled a six foot five satyr, caught him, and hoisted him into a chair without dropping my beer. If you think that's unlikely, you don't know how I feel about beer.)

No private property after an apocalypse

Whenever I think about the Enkidu story, I think Kipling really missed out on a much better ending for The Jungle Book.

He made a gesture and a man came over from the other side of the room with the bottle, and refilled my snifter.  Having people around to do that is why one strives to be rich.

You never really appreciate women until you've tried pleasing another man. Just trust me.)

Madness, in my personal experience, is mostly the acceptance of a reality that is not commonly agreed-upon. 

Once again, I can provide ample scientific—" "Yes, I know. But understand that at least twenty percent of the people reporting to me, think wireless internet access is witchcraft.

Are you trying to talk me out of going?" "I am trying to figure out who you really are." "Same man I was last night." "Last night you smelled like turnips. Tonight you smell of leather and mystery.

I've invented entire royal bloodlines—and, on a couple of occasions, entire countries—just to get into decent parties

I WOULD GO TO ATHENS. FOR IT IS ONLY IN ATHENS THAT I MAY SPEND ALL MORN ARGUING REAL TRUTHS WITH A PHILOSOPHER, ALL AFTERNOON WATCHING CLEVER LIES FROM A DRAMATURG, AND ALL NIGHT DRINKING LIES INTO TRUTHS WITH A SENATOR.

Pretty much everyone took over the world at least once back in the day. I even thought about it a couple of times.

If you're thinking they were acting terribly nonchalant about discovering a stranger behind the living room couch, you've never been to a collegiate keg party.