Quotes from John Swartzwelder

I stepped out of the elevator, put the briefcase in a stray dog's mouth and told him to stay, then thought better of it and put the briefcase back in the elevator.

We were in a cell together in a Colonial prison, along with hundreds of other people from 2010. It wasn't very comfortable. No beds. No chairs. You just had to sit on the floor in your own filth. And my filth, I noticed, was stupendous.

The problem was I wasn't very good at things. Everybody knows somebody like that. And I was the guy I knew. I wasn't very dependable either. And I guess I didn't smell too good most of the time. I didn't have much going for me, to be honest.

He looked at me like I was stupid. Why do people always look at me like that?