Quotes from John Vorhaus

Procrastinate later.

I wonder if the truth comes off people like an aura or an odor. You don't have to know them to know them, ya know?

You might think she just liked the cut of my jib, but I've seen my jib and I'm here to tell you it's not cut that cute.

From John Vorhaus's character Vic Mirplo in The Albuquerque Turkey: Procrastinate later.

Adam says to God, "God, why did you make women so soft?" God says, "So that you will like them." Adam says, "God, why did you make women so warm and cuddly?" God says, "So that you will like them." Adam says to God, ''But, God, why did you make them so stupid?" God says, "So that they will like you.

The difference between a class clown and a class nerd is that the class clown tells jokes everyone gets while the class nerd tells jokes that only he gets. Comedy, thus, is not just truth and pain, but universal, or at least general, truth and pain.

The mere act of doing the unexpected thing created one funny moment after another.

The 20-year rule says that if it won't matter in 20 years, it doesn't matter now.