Quotes from barr roseanne ii

You did too order salami. Yes ya did. Yes ya did. Then why'd you take a big ol' bite out of it?

We gotta wait for your dad to park the car. Then we gotta hear the Epic Saga.

I've just very grateful for ABC's support for my show. It is a dream come true to have lightning strike twice. You can go home again; it's a wonderful lesson and a wonderful thing.

Our show was not about who you voted for at all, it's about how you get along with people who don't think like you.

Stay sick Dan. When you get well, I am going to kill you.

Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.

We can't control everything thing our kids do. Sooner or later they're just gonna do what they're gonna do. They're like people that way.

It IS my business when you start sneakin' out of this house to meet some guy that I would consider leavin' your father for!

Why must you mere mortals gamble with your own thoughts when you have the goddess of corn here to keep you from screwing up?

It's all about fear. That same fear that gays have about coming out is the fear that women have about being feminists or being pro-women. It's the same fear that Jews have about being too Jewish. And it's the same exact fear that black writers have about being too ethnic.

Tuna salad, egg salad, chicken salad, turkey salad, shrimp salad. What difference does it make? It's all just different words for mayonnaise. Pick one.

What happened was that 400 people showed up for six jobs. So I'm standing there for three hours drinking coffee just so some punk kid can ask me if I have any special skills; I told him, "yeah, bladder control."

I hate my boss! I hope he never graduates high school.

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

I faked PMS. I even added an extra day for the heck of it.

Oh, hi. I been married thirteen years, and lemme tell you, it's a thrill to be out of the house. I never get out of the house. I stay home all the time. I never do anything fun 'cause I'm a housewife. I hate the word "housewife." I prefer to be called "domestic goddess."

Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been a really great thing in my life.