Quotes from Sarah Ruden

Oenother took out a leather phallus, which she proceeded to coat with oil, ground pepper, and crushed nettle seeds. Gradually, she inserted it into my anus. The cruel crone kept sprinkling the fluid over my thighs. * She mixed nasturtium seed with artemesia and spread it over my genitals, then, with a switch in her limber hand, beat everything below my navel.

Circe]: What is the matter? Does my kiss offend you? Do I have bad breath from hunger? Have I neglected to cleanse my sweaty armpits?

That's because he had such an enormous load of genitalia - you'd think that the rest of the body was nothing but a handle on that piece of equipment.

when I turned back to him, he'd taken off all his clothes and put 'em in a pile beside the road. That sure knocked the wind outta me. I stood there like I was dead. He pissed around his clothes and all of a sudden he turned into a wolf. I'm not joking.

When Ascyltes, loaded down with all these woes, was falling asleep, the maid he had rejected and insulted rubbed the whole of his face with a generous quantity of ash. He felt nothing, and she went on to paint graffiti-style penises on his shoulders and sides.

the Gospels are not about Jesus; they are Jesus.