Quotes from Sari Solden

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." —Maya Angelou

AD/HD is such a full-time job that some women have never had the opportunity to stop and figure out a way of doing things differently. They haven't discovered how to change the rules, what it means to feel comfortable, or how to live without feeling overwhelmed. They just don't have the concept.

The irony is that the more they achieve and the better they do, the less people are inclined to believe them, and the more they feel forced to then stay in the closet.

Many women still see their disorganization issues as a character flaw.

Even today with most women working, even women without AD/HD have issues around money and taking care of their financial affairs. They aren't as knowledgeable about financial matters as they'd like to be and often have control, power, and dependency issues. Combine this with AD/HD and feelings of being overwhelmed, and it creates an even greater tendency to shut down and tune out in this area.

She said at the national ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association) conference that their AD/HD symptoms often only show up at home after an exhausting effort to "hold it together all day.

Many women feel that no matter how competent others think they are, or no matter how much they achieve, they are really just fooling everyone.

These women often believe they are fooling anyone who thinks well of them because without any warning the switch inside their heads could turn off and their feelings of inadequacy would be exposed. They worry that they won't have enough time, that their systems won't work, or that people will drop in unexpectedly. Any minute things could fall apart.

Permission to Proceed:

You have to take a leap of faith and believe that living an authentic life of personal power and pride is more important than the fear and pain that have been holding you back.

We often leave out experiences or information that doesn't fit with the incomplete picture or story we have been telling ourselves. If we only see the challenges, we won't have anywhere to add new positive experiences—and they will disappear before they have room to take root and grow.

You move through Shame and Guilt and must ultimately redefine your sense of what it means to be a mature, confident, competent woman, even if after treatment you are still somewhat messy, disorganized, or forgetful. For me, it means I have learned to value myself as a creative woman who will never match some culturally sanctioned image I may have internalized a long time ago about what a woman should be or be able to do.

She empowers ADD women by validating their experience as worthwhile human beings who struggle with serious organizational problems in many areas of their lives.