Quotes from Jonathan Meres

mean it could be," said Grandpa. "Really?" said Norm. "Might just be the thin end of the wedge, Norman." And what was that supposed to mean? thought Norm. Thin end of what flipping wedge? A wedge of cheese? What was it with flipping cheese today? Everyone

Stupid?" said his dad. Norm was beginning to wonder whether he should butt in. Because this conversation was clearly going nowhere fast. Was this really what happened when you got old? You ended up arguing about flipping aftershave? And cheese? It was like some nightmarish vision of the future. "Beast Pour Homme?" said Norm's dad. Norm's

They're just kissing, Dave!" said Brian appearing beside him. "It's perfectly natural." Yeah, thought Norm. So was going to the toilet. Didn't mean you had to do it in flipping public, though, did it? "Hello, boys," said Norm's mum finally

Norm protesting his innocence and grassing Dave up himself. Who was his dad going to believe? Him or his stupid little brother? No, his dad had obviously made his mind up and nothing was going to change it. Norm was guilty. Same as flipping always.

Zak Knight "Revenge of

being summoned into The Front Room Of Doom wasn't ominous enough in itself. What was about to happen? wondered Norm. Because something was definitely about to happen. He hadn't just been called in to talk about the weather, or the price of flipping loft insulation. And apart from anything else, how come his dad had asked if it was him as he came in the front door? Everyone else was already there! Who did his dad think it was? The flipping Gruffalo? "Sit

Norm sighed and read the post for a third time. A whole bunch of different emotions were tumbling round his stomach, like clothes in a washing machine. It was hardly surprising. He and Mikey had been best friends forever. Well, not actually forever obviously, but a long time anyway. Since they were

tried not to think about it, the more he actually thought about it. And the more he actually thought

knitting as well, then?" "No," laughed Auntie Jem. "It's a metaphor." Norm didn't care what it was for. He just needed to talk to Mikey. Alone. "You coming, love?" said Norm's mum, setting off with Auntie Jem. "In a minute, Mum," said Norm. "OK,

back?" said Norm's dad. Gordon flipping Bennett. thought

hmmm even mean? It wasn't even a proper flipping word! It was so flipping annoying!