Quotes from Eric Sykes

I asked my publisher what would happen if he sold all the copies of my book he'd printed. He said "I'll just print another ten.

Toold you I did not feel well

Honest Fred, the punter's friend, was offering ten thousand to one against it being the end of the world by dawn, and such was the gullibility of people that he was doing a roaring trade. I mean, couldn't they see that if the world did end, Honest Fred wouldn't be there to pay out, and even worse, they wouldn't be there to collect. However, ten thousand to one isn't a bad bet so I had a fiver just in case.

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.