Quotes from Sean Keogh

Keep smiling... it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons: to them you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.

If you think things can't get any worse, you have no imagination.

Politics: A combination of "poli" meaning many, and "tics" meaning irritating little bugs.

I took an IQ test and the result came back negative.

Whoever said you can't buy happiness has never been shopping.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

The reason people get lost in thought is that it's unfamiliar territory.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam me up my clothes.

Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.

I haven't lost my mind... it's backed up on disk somewhere.

There are few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosive.

If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.

I wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

My programs don't have bugs... they have random features.

I thought I had made a mistake, but I was mistaken.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.

How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?

Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humor.

I think, therefore I am... not related to you.

Never interrupt someone who is making a mistake.

If I explained it to you, your brain would explode.