Quotes from Matthew McKay

When a person is in emotional pain, it's hard to be rational and to think of a good solution. Nevertheless, many of the coping strategies used by people with overwhelming emotions only serve to make their problems worse.

You hope friends and family will be sensitive or clairvoyant enough to know what you want. "If you loved me, you'd know what's wrong" is a common assumption.

Criticizing yourself all the time or being overly judgmental of a situation is like wearing dark sunglasses indoors.

Strong self-esteem depends on two things. The first is what most of this book has been about: learning to think in healthy ways about yourself. The second key to self-esteem is the ability to make things happen, to see what you want and go for it: literally to create your own life.

However, do not confuse distraction with avoidance. When you avoid a distressing situation, you choose not to deal with it. But when you distract yourself from a distressing situation, you still intend to deal with it in the future, when your emotions have calmed down to a tolerable level. The

Remember, sometimes pain can't be avoided, but many times suffering can. Take

People who struggle with overwhelming emotions often feel vulnerable. At any point, the smallest trigger can lead to a tidal wave of emotions that leaves them feeling confused, angry, alone, hopeless, and in pain.

Rather than building your self-esteem on being right, you might reform your picture of yourself into that of one who, above all, wants to find the truth. Listening

The fact is that you don't know strangers well enough to reject them. if you don't want to go on the lunch date, it probably has more to do with you-your schedule, your unwillingness to meet someone new, your mood.

You'll then use your responses to the Valued Living Questionnaire in the following exercise, which will help you move toward engaging in what you value.

The individual struggling with overwhelming emotions and DBT therapists will benefit significantly from this workbook.

The human brain is a wonderful thought-producing machine. It turns out millions of thoughts every day. Most of the time, this makes our lives much easier. But unfortunately, we can't fully control what our brain thinks about.

It's almost as if the harder you try to forget something, the harder your brain tries to remember it. This is why forcing yourself to forget about something that happened to you is impossible. It's also why you can't simply force yourself to get rid of emotions that you don't want.

Rather, it's your thoughts about these events, the ways you interpret them, and your physical reactions to these thoughts that produce an anxious emotional state.