Quotes from bierce ambrose iii

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.

When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease is prevailent [sic] only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Civilization can not be put into a ship and carried across an ocean.

Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

APOLOGIZE, v.i. To lay the foundation for a future offense.

When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet.

A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.

What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.

AMBIDEXTROUS, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

Year, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.