Quotes from bierce ambrose iv

FRIENDSHIP, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.

A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

DANCE, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter.

The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves.

MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.

For nearly all that is good in our American civilization we are indebted to the Old World; the errors and mischiefs are of our own creation.

A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.

Peace, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

Adam probably regarded Eve as the woman of his choice, and exacted a certain gratitude for the distinction of his preference.