Quotes from bierce ambrose v

Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.

Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.

FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth.

LABOR, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

Realism, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seen by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

The sky is a concave mirror in which Man sees his own distorted image and seeks to propitiate it.

In the last analysis, ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

Respirator, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

DUTY, n. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

If public opinion were determined by a throw of the dice, it would in the long run be half the time right.

MAYONNAISE, n. One of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.

Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.