Quotes from Bill Thomas

The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time.

Q. How do you feel when there is no coffee? A. Depresso.

CINDRELLA   Q. why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? A. Because she kept running from the ball. BELT     Q. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A. Waist of time! ELEVATORS   Q. Why do ghosts love elevators? A. Because they lift their spirits! GRAVEYARD   Q. Why are there fences around a graveyard? A. Because people are dying to get in!

What is Mozart doing right now? A. He is decomposing.

We are all human beans.

I don't trust these stairs because they are always up to something.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.