Quotes from Simon Whaley

Mongrel A mongrel dog is the result of having beer-goggle eyes on a Friday or Saturday night and then waking up the following morning, still unsure who or what you've slept with. Mongrel dogs are the result of random breeding where the parents are of mixed ancestry too. Each one is unique.

The average dog has the same IQ level as a three-year-old child. This means that most dogs are capable of operating your mobile phone and logging onto your social media accounts when you're not looking.

Domestic dogs are essentially wolf puppies that have grown up physically, but not reached emotional maturity. That's why many women prepare for life with a man by first practising with a dog.