Quotes from Judith Lewis Herman

As recently as 1975, a basic American psychiatry textbook estimated that the frequency of all forms of incest as one case per million. [James Henderson, "Incest", in A. M. Freedman, H.I. Kaplan and B.J. Sadock, eds., Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry, 2nd ed. 1975 p. 1532.]

As long as fathers rule but do not nurture, as long as mothers nurture but do not rule, the conditions favoring the development of father-daughter incest will prevail.

Maternal absence, in one form or another, is always found in the background of the incest romance. Womens literature on incest generally treats the theme of maternal absence tragically. Mens literature trivializes it or treats it comically. And clinical literature tends to treat it judgmentally.

In the absence of strong political movements for human rights, the active process of bearing witness inevitably gives way to the active process of forgetting. Repression, dissociation, and denial are phenomena of social as well as individual consciousness.

Though both partners may wish for reconciliation, their unspoken goals are often sharply in conflict. The abuser usually wishes to reestablish his pattern of coercive control, while the victim wishes to resist it.

helplessness constitutes the essential insult of trauma, and that restitution requires the restoration of a sense of efficacy and power.

The fundamental stages of recovery are establishing safety, reconstructing the trauma story, and restoring the connection between survivors and their community

The U.S. legal system is organized as an adversarial contest: in civil cases, between two citizens; in criminal cases, between a citizen and the state. Physical violence and intimidation are not allowed in court, whereas aggressive argument, selective presentation of the facts, and psychological attack are permitted, with the presumption that this ritualized, hostile encounter offers the best method of arriving at the truth.

The study of psychological trauma has repeatedly led into realms of the unthinkable and foundered on fundamental questions of belief.

Authoritarian, secretive, sometimes grandiose, and even paranoid, the perpetrator is nevertheless exquisitely sensitive to the realities of power and to social norms. Only rarely does he get into difficulties with the law; rather, he seeks out situations where his tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired. His demeanor provides an excellent camouflage, for few people believe that extraordinary crimes can be committed by men of such conventional appearance.

The desire for total control over another person is the common denominator of all forms of tyranny.

Fragmentation in the inner representations of the self prevents the integration of identity. Fragmentation in the inner representations of others prevents the development of a reliable sense of independence within connection.

Therapy requires a collaborative working relationship in which both partners act on the basis of their implicit confidence in the value and efficacy of persuasion rather than coercion, ideas rather than force, mutuality rather than authoritarian control.

Survivors do not want their injuries to be trivialized or ridiculed, and they do not want to be blamed for them. They do not want to be dismissed as overly emotional or told to "get over it." They want their communities to recognize and respect their suffering and to acknowledge the seriousness of the harm they have endured.

In the face of common prejudices that blame survivors for whatever happened to them, they want assurances from the community that they did not deserve to be abused.

La respuesta habitual a las atrocidades es borrarlas de la conciencia. Ciertas violaciones de! orden social son demasiado terribles como para pronunciarlas en voz alta: ese es el significado de la palabra impronunciable.

What about those who are tasked with implementing justice but instead ally themselves with the powerful? Often, survivors will feel the bitterness of these betrayals more deeply even than the direct harms inflicted by perpetrators.

The righteous anger of women and other subordinated groups, which violates dominant norms of compliant and willing submission, is always particularly threatening

They observed that the strongest protection against psychological breakdown was the morale and leadership of the small fighting unit.

the suffering of traumatized people is a matter not only of individual psychology but also, always, of social justice.

If traumatic disorders are afflictions of the powerless, then empowerment must be a central principle of recovery.

Some extraordinary survivors, recognizing that their suffering is part of a much larger social problem, are able to transform the meaning of their trauma by making their stories a gift to others and by joining with others to seek a better world.

I argue that relationships of dominance and subordination are incompatible with justice, which must be based on principles of trust and fairness that are found only in relationships of mutuality.

In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.