Quotes from Julie A. Ross

Our preteens need for us to remain emotionally connected and stable, because they're so unstable during this period. They need to know that we may not love their behavior but that, despite the fact that they're uncomfortable during their metamorphosis, we aren't going anywhere, and we will continue to love them, confident that, in due time, they will get through this.

Preteens live up to our expectations, and if we communicate that they're irresponsible, they will become even more so. Remember that they're still learning responsible behavior, and they will make mistakes along the way.

Looking ahead to the time when our children will be independent from us can help us decide how we can be the most effective during the middle school years. This requires asking ourselves not only, "Is what I'm doing working?" but also, "What am I teaching my child?" Think of it as taking the long view of parenting.

Healthy adult relationships are reciprocal, which means that there's a "give-and-take" quality to them. Sometimes one person's needs take precedence; sometimes the other person's needs take precedence. And often, compromise is required to achieve a "win-win" solution so that both people's needs are met.