Quotes from Henry Louis Mencken

It seems to me that a great university ought to have room in it for men subscribing to every sort of idea that is currently prevalent

For every problem there is a solution which is simple, clean and wrong.

The thing which sets off the American from all other men, and gives peculiar color not only to the pattern of his daily life but also adds to the play of his inner ideas, is what, for want of a more exact term, may be called social aspiration

A large part of altruism, even when it is perfectly honest, is grounded upon the fact that it is uncomfortable to have unhappy people about one

Who ever heard, indeed, of an autobiography that was not (interesting)? I can recall none in all the literature of the world

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.

Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted.

A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and truth in front of patriotic passion.

History deals mainly with captains and kings, gods and prophets, exploiters and despoilers, not with useful men.

Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.

The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented.

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

Correct spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma'ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world.

Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill.

A formula for answering controversial letters -- without even reading the letters Dear Sir (or Madame) You may be right.

A man always blames the woman who fooled him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity. His most gaudy sayings and doings seldom deceive them they see the actual man within, and know him for a shallow and pathetic fellow. In this fact, perhaps, lies one of the best proofs of feminine intelligence, or, as the common phrase makes it, feminine intuition.

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

A sound American is simply one who has put out of his mind all doubts and questionings, and who accepts instantly, and as incontrovertible gospel, the whole body of official doctrine of his day, whatever it may be and no matter how often it may change. The instant he challenges it, no matter how timorously and academically, he ceases by that much to be a loyal and creditable citizen of the republic.

Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.

But any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood, and that is what happened to Jesus.