Quotes from Herb Cohen

You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.

No' is a reaction, not a position. The people who react negatively to your proposal simply need time to evaluate it and adjust their thinking. With the passage of sufficient time and repeated efforts on your part, almost every 'no' can be transformed into a 'maybe' and eventually a 'yes'.

Most of us, in our civilized society, rely too heavily on reasoning capacity to make things happen. We've been raised to believe that logic will prevail. Logic, in and of itself, will rarely influence people. Most often logic doesn't work.

To successfully interact with any individual in any setup, all you have to do is determine his or her needs, then fulfill them.

Negotiation is a field of knowledge and endeavor that focuses on gaining the favor of people from whom we want things. It's as simple as that.

The "winners" seem to be people who not only are competent, but also have the ability to "negotiate" their way to get what they want.

if you happen to be a boss, you never want an employee to do exactly what you tell him to do. You want him to occasionally do what you don't tell him to do … often what you can't tell him to do, because many problems can't be anticipated.

In every negotiation in which you're involved—in every negotiation in which I'm involved—in fact, in every negotiation in the world (from a diplomatic geopolitical negotiation to the purchase of a home)—three crucial elements are always present:

Information. The other side seems to know more about you and your needs than you know about them and their needs.

Time. The other side doesn't seem to be under the same kind of organizational pressure, time constraints, and restrictive deadlines you feel you're under.

In short, you have more power if you believe you have power and view your life's encounters as negotiations.

His response to any question is a counter-question.

What is negotiation? It is the use of information and power to affect behavior within a "web of tension." If you think about this broad definition, you'll realize that you do, in fact, negotiate all the time both on your job and in your personal life.

Power. The other side always seems to have more power and authority than you think you have.

Your ability to negotiate determines whether you can or can't influence your environment. It gives you a sense of mastery over your life.

It's analyzing information, time, and power to affect behavior … the meeting of needs (yours and others') to make things happen the way you want them to.

However, in dying, both gained the commitment of followers who carried on after them, changing the value system on the face of this earth. In fact, many of us try to live by their values in our daily lives.

2. Almost everything is negotiable

He says, "Good … I'll write up the sales slip." You interject, "No … wait—maybe we can talk." He arches an eyebrow and says, "When you and your wife finish discussing this, you'll find me in Hardware," and strolls away.

Now I ask you, will this be an easy or a difficult negotiation? Most people in our culture would say difficult. Why? Because of the great imbalance in information, apparent time pressure, and perceived power.

Information. What do you know about the salesman's needs or the store's needs? Is the salesman on salary, commission, or a combination of both? You don't know.

Does he have a budget, a quota, or a deadline? You don't know. Has he had a great month, or did his boss warn him to sell a refrigerator today "or else"? You don't know.

What's the inventory situation on this model? Is it the store's hottest item, currently on backorder, or is it a dog the store manager will dump at any price? You don't know.

What are the itemized costs on this model? You don't know. Is the store making a profit on this model? If so, how much? You don't know.