Quotes from Michael Thomas Ford

I am," I said. "I'm the problem.

And just because your life isn't as awful as someone else's, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. You can't compare how you feel to the way other people feel. It just doesn't work. What might look like the perfect life—or even an okay life—to you might not be so okay for the person living it. God

like she'd murdered her best friend or slept with her dad's new wife.

The host started smiling again, and they cut to a commercial for pork, the other white meat.

And just because your life isn't as awful as someone else's, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. You can't compare how you feel to the way other people feel. It just doesn't work. What might look like the perfect life—or even an okay life—to you might not be so okay for the person living it.

The truth is, life as a soldier involves long stretches of boredom punctuated by sudden bursts of activity.

Given a choice between discussing the symbolism of a pig head on a stick and discussing my feelings, I'll take the pig head every time.

Personally, I think they killed the bear because they were afraid of it. That's what people do, kill the things they're afraid of.

Where's the skill in throwing a hook loaded with tempting bait into the general vicinity of lots of perpetually hungry creatures with brains the size of mustard seeds? You might as well go to a playground, scatter Reese's peanut butter cups around, and club to death the first four year old foolish enough to approach, believing innocently that such treats are readily available in nature.

That's what people do, kill the things they're afraid of.

I'm still kind of a mess. But I think we all are. No one's got it all together. I don't think you ever do get it totally together.

MY FIRST SUMMER living in New York, I couldn't wait for

I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind was racing racing racing. Only I wasn't really thinking about anything specific. It was just this stream of words and half thoughts, like there were a thousand different channels in my brain and someone was flipping through them one after the next.

One of the best T-shirts I ever saw,said: i was happy once,but i'm better now.

I guess I've learned that no matter how bad things get, there are always people who love you.

They originally turned into superheroes when they were running from something they didn't like about themselves... All those superheroes were doing was fighting themselves.

Only of course they bleeped out the good part because it's daytime TV, and we all know that no one in America swears.

That sounds so weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you. But killing someone is wrong, and I don't think suicide is. It's my life, right? I should be able to end it if I want to. I don't think it's a sin.

By the time we were done I was exhausted. I don't know how movie stars do the same scene over and over like that. It takes a lot out of you.

I mean, sure this guy is a little nuts. You have to spend your whole life following bears around. But I get it, too. When he was with the bears, they didn't care that he was kind of weird, or that he'd gotten trouble for drinking too much and using drugs. They didn't ask him a bunch of stupid questions about how he felt, or why he did what he did. They just let them be who he was.

So, now that I look like this, I'm okay? I'm not a freak because I look like you do? Well, you can go fuck yourself." Only of course they bleeped out the good part because it's daytime TV, and we all know that no one in America swears.

If left to my own devices, though, I'd also eat Ben & Jerry's brownie batter ice cream until I weighed six hundred pounds, but somehow I manage to stop myself when my pants start to get a little tight around the middle. But to each his own. And if you're going to do something that might piss off your partner, you might as well have science on your side.

Straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls. Everyone just assumes that they do. But if you're gay, everybody makes this ginormous deal out of it. You practically have to hold a news conference and take out an ad in the newspaper. Why? Just because it's not what most people do? That doesn't seem fair.

Fuck!" he said, the purity and forcefulness of the profanity cleansing in its simplicity. Fuck. Odd, he thought, how the word considered the most unutterable should be the one that represented, for many, the greatest pleasure of which the human body was capable. The sacred and the profane, he supposed, the ultimate proof of the perversity of human nature, to make a curse of the very act that kept the species in existence.