Quotes from Brian Meehl

How to see a vampire in three easy steps: 1. Get up. 2. Find a mirror. 3. Look at your first vampire.

I got bitten by fangs that went to sink'n'drink, but somewhere between swilling'n'killing, the vampire messed up and turned me into a big fat mistake.

What happened to the first vampire who fell for the first mortal? She turned him into a sucker

Earn your death.

Practice focused apathy.