Quotes from Bryan Smith

This has been an interesting fucking week.

Like Doctor Who's TARDIS, or like the house in that book Anna had loaned him once, the one where a bunch of young assholes got lost while driving through a mountain range and wound up at the creepy manor home of a monster disguised as a human.

Judging from the molten aspect of the diarrhea, it'd probably been something Mexican

You can stay here and rot in luxury with me or

His head was ringing like a goddamn church bell on a Sunday, only instead of calling the devout to worship it was signaling his total and obvious eternal damnation.

In your head, you're the star of an epic movie based on your amazing fucking life. 

who was experiencing a bit of post-traumatic stress.

Just when it felt like you were getting ahead of the game a little, some damn crisis or other would come along to bring you right back to square one.

The main thing on Caleb Walker's mind as he sat at the table in the kitchen that morning was tits.

Yep. Reckon y'all dumb meat-sacks 'bout to get fornicated and buzzed up right nice.

Hoke stared. Hoke said, "Gulp.

Making matters even worse was Jimmy's rancid breath, which reeked of horseradish. 

I suck, she thought. I have achieved levels of suckitude unrivaled by anyone ever in the entire history of suck.