Quotes from Kathleen DeMarco

This time, there are no tears. This time, there is only emptiness and I feel it set in the straight line of my mouth. I am not strong enough for this. I want an earthquake, a hurricane, anything - even a devil, the one with the cloven hoof - Mrs. Leed's unfortunate 13th child - to rush out and stomp on me, break me into little pieces and hurl me to the stars, let me go back with those people I love. Please.

That's why an Angelina Jolie is always going to win over a Winona Ryder. Fuckups are more interesting.

Please, God. I am a smart woman, I know words, I've read books; he's just a guy, he's just a person, I can speak to him. "Hmm," I say, and during the subsequent silence, I consider ways to kill myself.

Tomorrow, I will embody what it means to be aging gracefully. I will be the Perfect Single Guest. I will be Katharine Hepburn (at thirty-three, not eighty) of the wedding. I am going alone. And I am not allowing myself one second of self-deprecation. Not one second. Affirmations and visuals. I am Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. I am Bette Davis in All About Eve. I am anyone, anyone at all, but me, Diana Moore, of brown hair, nine of shoe, and wide of thigh.

When you get old, everyone wants to protect you," Rosie says to me. "They don't remember that if you managed to et this old, you've probably figured out how to protect yourself.