Quotes from Kaya McLaren

If you can, judge less and observe more.

People like to say that time heals all wounds, but I don't believe it. I remember once Grandpa took me firewood cutting, and as we looked at the rings of the tree together, he pointed out the years where there was drought and the years where there was fire. So while time allowed for new growth that hid the scars of the past, those scars were still there, inside the tree, and part of the tree. I think about how I am like that tree.

there is no grief more devastating than the grief for what could have been.

Go spend time with the aspen trees. They'll tell you how it works. They'll tell you to look to your roots for energy. They'll tell you there's warmth below the surface.

It brought him the most peace to simply believe that people were imperfect, and life was imperfect and sometimes bad things just happened.

So at the end of the day, here was what Mike was able to believe in: people.It was people and their kindness the made him feel blessed. It was people who were the heroes, and people who were generous, and people who comforted one another.

Most people think love comes from the heart or soul. The heart simply pumps blood, so love can't be created there. Where is the center for what appears to be a person's soul? The Brain. And what is created there, Jilly? That's right--dopamine. What does dopamine do? Creates feelings of love and euphoria. How do we get our brains to create more? Drugs, massage, and/or sex. Boil it down and it's all just dopamine.

What they all knew was this: Life was fragile.

She and Lisa always called that kind of snow heroic, because a person could do no wrong in it. Everyone skied like a hero in that kind of snow.

We can fix that. We can fix anything. So the real question remains whether every problem is worth fixing.

Why, he wondered, was it so hard to see humankind as capable of creating miracles? Miracles were just second chances if you really thought about it-second chances when all hope was lost.

You're going to stay here. You're going to get strong. And then, when your mind is as empty as your glass, you'll know what to do.

What a tricky balance of safety and risk it is that brings out the best in us?

He saw nothing but misfortune--human error and misfortune. It brought him the most peace to simply believe that people were imperfect, and life was imperfect, and sometimes bad things happened.

Women who got married got screwed.

So the real question remains whether every problem is worth fixing. The answer to that is no.

Here's what Mike knew about kids: They did stupid stuff. Pretty much all of them.

If you ever start thinking that any of them are developmentally more mature than a high school boy, just remember they named their dogs after beer.

Sometimes you just wait for the night to be over and endure.

What was it, she wondered, that made some people give up and others fight harder? Where was her fight? She was out.

It made no sense to him, this idea that some people got God and some people didn't.

Dear God, Lisa, what are your gingerbread men doing to each other? It's like a gingerbread orgy down there! You made porn cookies!

Surely the truth was a really important part of any authentic relationship. But so was acceptance, and I hadn't known how to balance those two things. I still didn't. Maybe the only thing s person could really do in this life was just accept everyone exactly as they were and just love them the best she could.