Quotes from Chris Grabenstein

MATH: THE ONLY PLACE WHERE PEOPLE CAN BUY 87 WATERMELONS AND NOBODY WONDERS WHY.

Bat guano," said Jake. "What's guano?" asked Kojo. "A fancy word for 'poop,' " said Grace.

So, where is he?" "In trouble," said Hercules. "Why? What'd he do?" "He read a book," said Tom Sawyer. "All about that beanstalk fellow, Jack." "It was a good story," said Hercules. "Action. Adventure. Glory.

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Miguel Fernandez was super enthusiastic about everything. He was also president of the school's Library Aide Society. "Hey, Kyle—you know what they say about libraries?" "Uh, not really." "They have something for every chapter of your life!" While Kyle groaned, the second bell rang.

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

Hang on. It's some kind of word game." "Is there a clue?" asked Haley. "Of course." Kyle read the tiny slip of paper taped to the glass. " Ã¢â'¬ËœOnce you learn how to do this, you will be forever free.

CHRIS GRABENSTEIN is the coauthor (with James Patterson) of the number one New York Times bestseller I Funny.

Time to embrace the suck, as his soldier friends say.

Kyle." "I'm just saying…" "Yes!" "What?" "I cleared level six! Finally.

Poked a juggling bear in the belly. Tried to toggle Tiny Tim's crutch sideways.

Public opinion can often be swayed by emotion with little regard for facts. If the story is fascinating enough, facts may not matter to those hearing it" -Mr. Khatchadourian

Bring me your best and brightest bookworms, research hounds, and gamers.

This is homeroom," he'd said once. "If I were home, I'd still be sleeping. So keep quiet. I need a nap.

Because," said Mr. Lemoncello, "it's a trampoline.

What?" said Kyle. "How can a number have a past tense?