Quotes from Tags: insomnia

Beware the hobby that eats.

Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

He who dies with the most toys wins.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger ... but I love you now.

The man who stops advertising to save money is the man who stops the clock to save time.

If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.

I'm a nervous flyer, and it doesn't make it any easier when I get to the airport and see the sign TERMINAL.

We'll be friends until we're old and senile, then we'll be new friends.

If shopping doesn't make you happy, then you're in the wrong shop.

I'm not addicted to reading. I can quit as soon as I finish the next chapter.

Sometimes when you think the storm is coming to rain on your parade, it's actually there to water your garden.

Adventures are for the adventurous.

A teenager is someone who is well prepared for a zombie attack but not ready for tomorrow's math test.

My only hobby is laziness, which naturally rules out all others.

My alarm tells me you're in my house. My gun tells me not for long.

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.