Quotes from Tristan Taormino

It is a relationship that is flexible enough to allow for change and that is constantly being renegotiated in the light of changing needs, consensus in decision-making, acceptance and encouragement of individual growth, and openness to new possibilities for growth.

You can't plan for everything: obstacles will still come up that you never talked about-that it never even occurred to you to discuss. Issues that you never anticipated will push your buttons. Behavior that you thought wouldn't make you jealous will. So, consider as many details as you can beforehand, and be ready for new ones to pop up.

If society treated sex with any dignity or respect, both pornographers and prostitutes would have status, which they obviously had at one time. The sexual women of antiquity were the artists and writers of sexual love. Since organized religions have made all forms of sexual pleasure evil, no modern equivalent exists today.

I don't disagree with all of what you do," he said, "but I think it's entirely unjust that you receive checks from the government for your homosexuality." I stared at him with my mouth full of fries. "Oh, it's not that bad," I said, "I only get half as much because I'm bisexual.

I}t is more common that people are monogamous not by choice, but by default.

Well-meaning friends suggest that I should drop the word "feminist," and perhaps the entire concept, because feminism is so "old hat." Young women today have lost interest in feminism because they believe it's antisex and that all feminists are man haters. Let me tell you something, girlfriends. That's exactly what the powers-that-be want us to think and do.

In order for women to progress, we must question all authority, be willing to challenge any rule aimed at controlling our sexual behavior, and avoid doing business as usual, thereby maintaining the status quo.

The basic principle of S/M was that all sexual activity between one or more adults had to be consensual and required a verbal negotiation, followed by an agreement between the players. All my years of romantic sex, when we tried to read each other's minds, were basically nonconsensual sex.