Quotes from Larry Gonick

First Barbarian): whats the difference between a lord and a barbarian? (second Barbarian): As little as a week!

This is MY FATHER'S House - not a bank!!!' 'What's got into Him??' 'Low blood sugar?' 'Hey Judas - get the coins!

Hm... Harbor's finished, so's the public market, business is booming.... My palace couldn't be posher, hot and cold running wine, live muzak.... So what's to buy next? I want something - really - useless.... I know! I'll get a PHILOSOPHER!!' Hiring someone just to sit around thinking - now there was an idea! 'What should I think about?' 'Anything - you - like!' It must have been hard at first.

Buddha: 'Onward! Forward to the fund-raiser.' Mahavira: 'Onward! Forward to - wait a minute. Did I hear someone swat a mosquito?

Wayward Brahmin: 'I can buy all the ginger and pepper you can grow.' Spice Islander: 'Marry my daughter!' The young bride melts into his arms. Wayward baron: 'But isn't it forbidden to marry outside caste, my guru?' 'Unless gig is very, very good, my disciple.' A century or so later: 'You grow all the ginger and pepper we can buy!

What's the attraction, honey?' 'Ever since He raised my brother Lazarus from the grave, it's been magic between us!

Is this a good time to consider the habits of very effective people?' (Emperor Tai-Tsung, newly crowned) 'Ahem'.

First two cells to diddle each other's genes: 'I'm only doing this, Anita, because I want your descendants to be an improvement on you.' 'Egotist.